I’ve really kind of let myself go lately, and that’s pretty sad. I’ve slipped back into some bad eating habits and I’m not getting the kind of exercise I should. It’s not even regular exercise I’m talking about, either: not only am I not getting out and running, or doing things like sit-ups and push-ups at home, it seems like I get up and move in general less and less these days, and it’s starting to have a pretty negative effect on the way I look and feel.
To some extent, I’ve had a problem with stress eating since I was in high school, but it got considerably worse in college and peaked during my first semester of graduate school. I put on about 40-45 pounds in just a couple of years, until one day I kind of woke up and realized that I was over 180 pounds and I was slowly killing myself. And then I lost that weight in the unhealthiest way possible: I just didn’t eat.
I have put a little weight back on. I feel like if I stick around 125-130, I’m probably doing all right. I hovered around 140 in high school and I looked a little pudgy. I had one last growth spurt as I was just starting college and grew almost a whole inch.
For motivation (and because it was kind of necessary, given my others don’t fit), I just bought a new swimsuit. Here’s hoping the desire to look awesome in it overrules my desire to eat everything in sight.