I haven’t blogged lately, or even really thought about blogging much–exhausted, apathetic, busy, stressed, depressed, out of words. There are dozens of words and phrases that could describe my life and my state of mind lately, and most of them are not good.
I had today off. I have tomorrow off too. So I’m trying to enjoy it as much as possible, because my opportunities for relaxation will be very limited in the next couple of weeks. Today we went to the craft store and looked at a few things…I have some ideas for wedding lunch decorations now, and I just need to get the supplies. And, um, make the time to do all this do-it-yourself stuff.
I cringe a bit when I see a flood of “New Year’s Resolution!!!!”-type posts on social media this time of year. You don’t need a new year to be a new you. You just need the motivation to get off your ass and get it done. January 1st is just an easy date to remember if you do actually make the progress you wanted to make.
Back in early May, Dallas and I left our little home in the upstairs section of an old farmhouse for what was a truly epic road trip. We had ourselves and virtually everything of any importance to either of us crammed into his truck, and we drove almost a thousand miles over two days to get to his parents’ house.
As much as I love Georgia, there are a TON of things I miss about Michigan. I’m going to write about five of those today. (Obviously I also miss my family and friends…but that would make this post waaaaaay too long and emotional.)
I keep thinking about sitting in my grandparents’ backyard with their dog Patsy Cline next to my chair, listening for any one of a dozen family members pulling into the driveway because they were in the neighborhood and wanted to just stop in. This is the first summer of my life where I won’t be spending at least a weekend or two doing that. And frankly, that scares me.
I never really knew what homesickness felt like until Christmas this past year. Dallas’ family is great, don’t get me wrong…but it wasn’t the same as being home. I have spent holidays away from my family, but I was always in the state of Michigan. I don’t know why it was so much harder to be in Georgia.
I’m really trying here. I’ve made friends with the cats and dogs, and I feel like I get along well with my future in-laws. But I wake up in the morning feeling like I haven’t slept and my pillow is soaked. I keep dreaming of things like walking along Lake Huron and hanging clothes on the line behind my dad’s house. The Pure Michigan commercials make me choke up. Yet if I went home, I’d miss Georgia. I’d dream about playing with Bo and Gabby, watching mockingbirds catch bugs on a newly cut lawn, and how pretty red clay dirt looks when it’s wet. Maybe I will never figure out where I’m supposed to be. It was a lot easier when Dallas was still here. Maybe my true home is not necessarily a place, maybe who I’m with is more important.
This is what the sky looked like tonight. So pretty…and it’s so nice for it to not be raining. Finally.
Today was a half-day at work. I helped run tests, helped people at the counter, cleaned, and managed to make it to the end of the day before my allergy medication ran out!
We got a new garbage disposal today and the guy who installed it fixed the dishwasher too. I guess the guy who took out the last disposal screwed up a few things, so the dishwasher leaked the one time anybody tried to use it and the kitchen sink drain always smelled awful. But it seems better now, so maybe I won’t dread washing dishes as much anymore.
I think this is the first time in our relationship that Dallas and I have gone more than 24 hours without talking. Kind of sad, huh? I miss him a lot. I have a cuddle date tonight with a certain snuggly little cat named Boo. It’s not the same, but it’ll have to do for now. I have tomorrow off, so maybe I’ll sleep a little better knowing there’s not a 5:45 am alarm waiting for me.