Several long stories, made short

This will probably still be a long post because I don’t know how to keep anything brief.

  1. If you follow me on Instagram and/or Twitter, you’re probably aware that, about a week and a half ago, I made the decision to stop going to my current psychiatry/therapy practice.  It wasn’t my doctor (he was fine), it was the rest of the office.  Losing my insurance information, giving me an appointment card without ever actually putting the appointment in the computer, nurse being rude about said appointment like it was my fault, another nurse taking several days to return a call about an issue with my medication, didn’t really feel comfortable with my assigned therapist…it was really just one thing after another these last few months.  I get that mental health providers are busy, but if they treat a lot of patients like I was treated–patients whose mental illnesses almost certainly would be more severe than mine–I can’t imagine it would make people want to seek care at their office.  Soooo yeah, I’m in the market for a new psychiatrist, I guess, and a therapist if I can swing it.  I’m just grateful that I have some options because this is a decent-sized town near another decent-sized town and I have fairly good insurance.
  2. My prescription sunglasses are now missing a small piece of the frame, and I was overdue for an eye exam anyway, so early this week I got my eyes checked.  Thankfully my prescription hasn’t changed much (it was mostly that my astigmatism got worse in the stronger of my two eyes), so new glasses won’t be much of an adjustment.  I’ve put in for a Home Try-On box from Warby Parker, which could be here as soon as today (!!!!), and hopefully I’ll have my new glasses from them before we head to Michigan for Dallas’ graduation in under a month.  I also ordered new prescription sunnies online, though literally 2 hours after I ordered them we got a coupon in the mail to save 40% on prescription sunglasses at our eye doctor’s office.  Even so, I paid under $100, which was not bad considering I had to get the more expensive high-index lenses this time around because my prescription has finally crossed that line where regular lenses would be really thick and heavy.  (I shouldn’t whine about this, my poor brother has been in high-index lenses since he was 5.)
  3. I complain a lot about the day-to-day workplace politics at my job, but I’m pretty proud to be part of a winning team.  The highest award our company gives out is called the Founder’s Award, and my store, as one of the top performers in the whole company (over a thousand stores!) has been given this honor. We came in at #15 in sales for fiscal 2015, which is incredible, because we are a tiny store, and we’re in a tough district, working against much larger locations–all of which we outsold last year despite their larger staff and inventory.  I guess the most exciting part, other than recognition that we’re freaking awesome, is that we get to wear jeans to work the rest of the month.  Woo hoo!
  4. Speaking of work, I had another panic attack yesterday.  Not great.  I can handle deadlines and working under a certain amount of pressure, but when the entire company’s computer system goes down and I can’t access the tools to do my job, that’s a whole other story.  The retail field is not a great place to work if you’re a perfectionist with horrible anxiety, if you were wondering.  However, due to a mishap with our delivery today (called “the trailer door literally broke at another store and they’re waiting for repairs”), I get to go in later and get an extra hour on my scheduled shift.  The cat woke me up shortly before I got the text about my schedule change, so I didn’t really get to sleep in, but I have had the time to enjoy a leisurely cup of tea and work on this blog post, so I’m feeling relatively relaxed at the moment.
  5. I’ve lost a little weight, which I expected would happen once my new medication was finally really in my system.  Not a ton of weight, and I have a lot of work left to do, but some of the perpetual puffiness from my old medication has gone down, and I’ve gotten in the habit of drinking more water and tea, less coffee and sugary beverages.  The coffee itself wasn’t bad; it was my habit of adding heaps of sugar and creamer to it that wasn’t helping.  The last bottle of creamer I bought was a different flavor and I didn’t like it, so I just haven’t had coffee for a while, other than a couple cups of black coffee at work to help wake me up.  Some of the perpetual “ugh do I have to move” from my citalopram has gone away, and instead of conserving my energy, I’m walking and moving more than I have in at least two years.  It’s slightly less pollen-y outside now, so I’m hoping Dallas and I can get outside more when I’m not at work.
  6. I’m getting really excited to go home for Dallas’ PhD graduation ceremony.  It’s not just him, either–my cousin Kelsey will graduate from college the day before, and my littlest cousin Julia Grace will be two years old a couple weeks later.  Every time I talk to my grandmother she tells me how happy she is that we’ll be home, even if it’s only for a few days.  Being away from my family, especially my grandparents, has been the hardest part of living here, hands down.  I’m glad to have had all this time to get to know my in-laws, and I really feel like being home has made all the difference for Dallas as he wrote his dissertation, but I grew up used to being able to see my family really frequently, to be able to drop everything at very little notice to be there when anyone needed me.  These last few years have been hard, because even coordinating a trip home in advance takes a ton of planning.  I can’t just lock my front door and be at my grandparents’ house in a few hours.  It’s a two-day drive.  I couldn’t be there when Pops’ beloved Cocker Spaniel, Patsy Cline, died.  I couldn’t be there when Meem broke her foot.  I wasn’t there when my mom was in the hospital.  I haven’t been able to be around to really get to know any of the new people in my family, whether they’re babies or family members’ significant others.  It’s pretty depressing when you think about it.

See, what did I tell you?  Long post.  Oops.  Sorry.

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