The best of times

Anxiety-ridden past me would be freaking out right now.  Everything is going so well that, back before I started treatment for my anxiety disorder, I would have been in a constant panic, waiting for everything to turn upside down.

I won’t deny that I still worry a little, but I’m really enjoying life right now for a lot of reasons.

Work is going extremely well.  The more I work in pricing, signing, and merchandise replenishment, the better I get at it–a far cry from those days I thought I’d never learn it all because I never got to do it.  And I can’t lie, my stress level has significantly decreased since I don’t have people constantly yelling at me from the other side of the customer service desk.  I do work in customer service this coming Saturday, but not between now and then and not after that through at least next Saturday.  The only thing that worries me about Saturday is that the company just pushed through what sounds like a major update/reconfiguration to our cash registers, and it is not without its problems.  So I’ll be troubleshooting as I try to learn it, so much fun! (Not.)

We’ve finalized the menu with the caterer for our wedding lunch/dinner/whatever-it-is-at-that-time-of-day: fried chicken, grilled tilapia, a salad, green beans, macaroni and cheese, potato salad, banana pudding, and our wedding cupcakes.  (I suddenly find myself hungry, having typed all of that.)  We still need to get some more decorations and things for the party site, because all we have right now is a silver banner that says “Mr. and Mrs.” on it.  All in all, wedding things are moving along nicely–there was a point in the past where I was thinking something like “we only have 132 days to get this all sorted out and how will we do it?”, and now I’m just like “still another 68 days until we leave to meet my family in Savannah and get our marriage license, why is it so far away?”  We’ve been apartment-hunting, so that has helped to keep both of us busy outside work and wedding planning.  Hopefully we’ll be moving in early/mid-July, before the wedding, because I expect to be very busy at work once we get back from our little honeymoon.

I’ve been working extra-hard on eating well and exercising lately.  I can definitely see a difference in the muscle definition on my arms and legs, and I’m starting to get little baby abs. 🙂  I’m still slipping up in the food department a lot of the time (too much sugar in my coffee, cravings for ice cream now that it’s consistently hot out) but am trying hard to make good choices.  I’ve tried a lot of different kinds of protein shakes, protein bars, and meal replacements, and am starting to have definite favorites.  The bars are a great snack for my breaks at work and have been an excellent way to stave off the cravings for sweets.  The shakes have really come in handy when I’ve eaten proper serving sizes at mealtime and am still hungry afterwards–they fill me up for very few extra calories, and give me a little more energy.  I do find myself exercising and moving in general a lot more now.

Oh, and I’m off the Wellbutrin, finally.  My doctor had me taper off of it.  I got extremely sick one day while I was tapering off, and had issues with nausea and headaches after I’d take a dose (I was taking it every other day instead of every day, so the side effects would come back with a vengeance on days I had to take it), but I’ve been totally off of it for almost a week.  I go back to be reevaluated on June 4th and may again ask for a higher dose of citalopram.  I really feel like that would have been the best thing for me in the first place, but I’m not a doctor.

Tonight I think I’ll watch last Sunday’s finale of Wolf Hall (it’s been sitting unwatched on the DVR because some part of me doesn’t want it to be over) and watch last week’s Call the Midwife so I’m ready for tonight’s season finale.  Then I think my TV watching is mostly over for the summer, both because there’s nothing I want to see and because I won’t have time.

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