Business as usual (I need a nap)

We mailed our wedding invitations out yesterday (finally!).  I would say at least half of those we mailed were to people (mostly my family members and a few friends) who have already let us know they’re not going to be able to come, but they wanted an invitation to save.  Just 84 days left until we get married!  It’s so close, and yet so far away.

I took advantage of my day off yesterday and got almost nothing done: I stayed in my pajamas most of the morning and binge-watched Call the Midwife.  Dallas went to the library yesterday afternoon to look at microfilm for his dissertation.  He’s tentatively scheduled his defense for late January/early February, and this time next year we’ll be en route to Michigan for his PhD graduation ceremony.  It’s been an incredible journey, and I’m pleased to have been by his side through all but the first couple months of it.  It’s been difficult at times for both of us, but I couldn’t be more proud of him for all his hard work.

On Thursday I’ll be going to see my doctor for a follow-up appointment related to my Wellbutrin.  We’ll see how it goes, but I’m honestly not sure I want to stay on it.  I have had near-constant headaches since I started taking it, and am having trouble with lightheadedness, tunnel vision, dizziness, and full-body tremors.  I also feel like I’m clumsier than usual (and if you know me, you know I’m really, really clumsy)–I’m constantly dropping things and bumping into tables and racks at work.  I’m not sleeping a whole lot at night and consequently get really tired during the day, which is most likely only adding to the clumsiness and dizziness.  It has helped somewhat with my feelings of depression, but I’m still trying to decide if the side effects are worth it.

Speaking of work, I had an interesting thought earlier, and went back through my past schedules.  Other than one Saturday in mid-March I took off to go to Savannah for bridesmaid things for Dallas’ cousin’s wedding, my last Saturday off was January 17.  The last time I had two days off in a row was early in the last full week of March.  A couple of my coworkers have talked about how rough it is to come back to work after two or three days off in a row and it’s something I can no longer comprehend because it just doesn’t happen for me anymore.

I have to admit that my managers have been amazing about giving me large blocks of time off when I need it for other things (our trip to London, our upcoming trip to DC for Dallas’ fellowship workshop, our wedding and brief honeymoon), and that’s been really nice, especially given that the beginning of the DC trip coincides with the Father’s Day blackout period and our wedding weekend is during the back-to-school blackout (something I still can’t wrap my mind around after growing up in a place where school doesn’t start until the day after Labor Day).

I’m essentially working in three different departments right now, one of which has just lost one person and will lose another on the 15th (supposedly I’ll be stepping into that person’s position, but we’ll see).  Management has allegedly been interviewing people, so I have my fingers crossed that they’ll make some great new hires for the customer service desk and I can move entirely (or almost entirely) to support–and hey, maybe I’ll get two days off in a row sometime.  It’s good to feel like I’m useful and an important part of the store team, which is why I get to work all over the place and work all kinds of different schedules, but I’m just…so…tired.

Maybe this has to do with my obsessive attention to detail, but when I’m not at work, I’m thinking about work, checking to make sure my work schedule hasn’t changed, and even having dreams about work.  Sigh.  I work until 9:30 (or whenever the store is nice and tidy) tonight and then go back in at 8 tomorrow morning.  At least then I’m doing pricing, which is peaceful and does not trigger my anxiety at all.

I guess yesterday my store manager called to ask me if I could come in and cover a call-out for the closing shift, but I didn’t get a missed call or voicemail on my phone until I checked it this morning.  Oops.  I guess I’ll apologize to him today if I see him and try to figure out why the devil my phone doesn’t ring half the time when anybody calls me.  This happened when my doctor’s office tried to call a couple of weeks ago about my blood work, and we played phone tag for three days.  (It came back fine, by the way–I was surprised, given that my diet is quite unhealthy these days.)

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