It really has come together over the last week or so. I can’t help but worry that we’re missing something huge and it’ll eventually dawn on one or the other of us with no time to fix it, but hopefully that’s not the case.
We’ve been using The Knot’s “ultimate wedding checklist” on their website for a general guideline on what to do and when to do it. The only problem is that it’s pretty clearly for a giant wedding with all the bells and whistles, which, well, ours is not. I’m glad I didn’t spend the money on a physical wedding planning book because frankly, it would have been a waste. We didn’t need to hire a planner or coordinator. We (gasp!) aren’t having a wedding party. Dallas will not be in a tuxedo, because a) we’re not that fancy, b) we’re getting married on the beach, and c) it’s gonna be waaaaaay too hot for that. I didn’t buy a thousand-dollar dress, won’t be getting my hair and makeup done, and am still debating whether or not I want to get a manicure and pedicure the day before and hope I don’t mess up one of my nails at some point before the wedding. (It’s not like my nails will be obvious in the pictures. I gather women do these things to relax? I’ve had my nails done professionally exactly once in my life, when my cousin got married back in 2004, and have never gone for a pedicure.) The nice thing about this online checklist is you can delete things that aren’t relevant to your wedding, which I did, even though it took me close to 15 minutes. I don’t like clutter.
As of right now, we’ve deleted or completed far more of the checklist than we have left to complete. The site says we’re “overdue” on a couple of things, which I find kind of hard to believe: apparently we should have already ordered our invitations and registered for gifts. Our invitations are nothing fancy, and based on the turnaround time when we ordered the matching save-the-dates, I expect we’d probably get our invitations delivered within a week and a half of when we order them.
Registering for gifts has been one of those things we’re just not sure about. We both lived alone, in our own apartments, before we met. Dallas has a really nice set of dishes and I have fifteen very lovely drinking glasses in two sizes (there were sixteen, but I broke one packing to move out of my apartment when I finished my master’s degree). I have a nice enough set of stainless steel flatware that may be missing a fork or two, but it’s still more than enough. We each came into this relationship with a nearly new and excellent quality set of pots and pans (mine are nonstick, his aren’t, so basically, it’s perfect). And right now we’re not even using any of this stuff, because we’re living with his parents and all of our things are in storage. Granted, most of mine is in my dad’s basement in Michigan, but all of Dallas’ stuff is here. The other thing is that I’m not exactly clear on the etiquette. We’ve been living together all this time, so anything we would have needed, we probably would have gotten by now. I don’t want people to feel like we’re just angling for presents or expecting friends and family to buy us really nice things for our as-yet-nonexistent first married home when we already have what we need. I also definitely don’t want our family (mostly traveling from over a thousand miles away or trying to fit a trip to the coast for our wedding into a busy life or a tight budget) or our friends (many of whom are in graduate/professional school or just starting out in careers) to feel like they have to give us anything. We’ll just be happy to have them there. So I guess I’m going to kind of ask around and get opinions from friends who lived together before they got married and find out what they did.
The other practical consideration is that, as I said, we still live with Dallas’ parents, and don’t have a lot of space as it is. We would love to get our own place to move into when we get married, but we have no idea what will happen between now and then with all of Dallas’ job applications. He’s applied for teaching positions in Georgia, in neighboring states, and as far away as New York. It wouldn’t be wise to sign a lease to move into an apartment in July if he’s still waiting to hear back from some of these schools, because he could be offered a teaching position at the last minute, and breaking a lease would be expensive and very stressful. Add to that having to move, and I can already feel myself needing a higher dose of my anxiety meds.
As for what we’ve got done: yesterday we talked to our caterer on the phone, and we’re officially on her calendar for July 25. We could tell she’d had catering jobs at the park where our party will be, because she asked if we were using the big pavilion or the smaller one. We need to actually pick out our menu, but it’s going to be really casual and we’re pretty sure of what we’re going with. I have my dress and jewelry; I’ll probably figure out some kind of hair accessory in the near future. My Valentine’s gift from Dallas is my wedding shoes, and they could be here as early as tomorrow. Dallas knows what he wants to wear when we get married, but he’s been working really hard to lose weight, so he’s going to wait until closer to July to actually buy his clothes. We’re hoping to be able to meet with somebody at our favorite bakery here in town before the end of the month to talk about ordering cupcakes. I’m scoping out decorations for our party and planning some cute little welcome baskets/bags to have ready for our out-of-the-area guests when they get in to Savannah. (The one for my grandparents will definitely have peach bread from Lane’s in it.) I’ve also started making a list of everything I’ll have to do and everybody I’ll have to contact after the wedding to change my name on things like my social security card, driver’s license, student loans, bank accounts, etc. The process seems relatively straightforward, I guess. I also got our wedding website updated last week–before that, we didn’t have much on it but a very blurry picture of us. Now it actually has content, and information, and is of some use to somebody.
…so yeah. I guess as far as planning and doing things, we only have little things left to do, and the biggest thing on the horizon is actually coordinating it all that weekend. I’m already looking forward to showing my family around Savannah. Mom and I may try to go to Bonaventure Cemetery, depending on the weather the day before our wedding, but I suspect nobody else will want to go because they find our interest in cemeteries to be somewhat creepy. (Dallas certainly does.)