100 Happy Days, Week 13 (plus an actual serious post)

I’m running a little behind this week–it’s been busy around here!  My 100 Happy Days challenge is almost over.  I just posted the picture for Day 93.  So, if my calculations are correct, next Thursday, September 4th, is the last day.  Back when I started this, I miscalculated and thought it was September 5th.  Whoops.

Anyway, I refer you back to this post.  We didn’t move yet and we’re not running that 5k.  But everything else happened, or, in the case of the Auburn game, will be happening soon. (Saturday!)

On Day 85, I accompanied Dallas to the library.  He’s spending a lot of time there these days, because most of the tens of thousands of documents he needs to translate to use in his dissertation research are only available to him on microfilm.  The library in Centerville is a lot closer to us, but apparently the only microfilm reader in the Houston County library system is at the one on Watson in Warner Robins. (His other option was to beg Middle Georgia State College or Mercer University for access to one of their libraries, which would have meant driving up to Macon to work several days a week.)  As you can see, my taste in reading materials is pretty diverse.  I knocked out that Gershwin biography in five or six hours’ total reading time.  Feels good, man.

Bo was being so very sweet on Day 86.  Here he is refusing to give up my blanket.  It’s hard to even mind a minor annoyance like having cold feet when faced with an Australian Shepherd who’s well aware that he is the cutest thing on four paws and isn’t afraid to use that to his advantage.

Day 87 was a bit exhausting: first we had a plumber in the house to fix one of the master bathroom sinks, then we were waiting on a carpet cleaning service to come, then we were off to a football game.  It’s still strange to me that people tailgate before high school football games in the South, but now I have officially experienced my first southern tailgate.  Dallas and I took a selfie to commemorate this oh-so-special day.

You guessed it–Day 88 was more football!  The Corky Kell classic was on TV, so naturally Dallas didn’t pass up the chance to watch more high school football.  Bo was a good sport about it and paid attention as well.

I’ll be honest: Day 89 was stressful.  We had, for several days by that point, been working on estimating costs of travel and places to stay in/around Tybee Island for our wedding next summer, because several of my family members suddenly expressed an interest in coming down for it.  Finally (actually, on Day 88) we had to bite the bullet and start letting people know that even if they did have that kind of money lying around, we weren’t going to let anybody spend it–rentals are really expensive that time of year and it’s a four-hour drive from the Atlanta airport anyway.  That night, my mother got pretty upset with me for letting people know it was just too expensive to come down, because she perceived the situation as me being “too good” for my blue-collar family.  I still don’t know if it’s the way I worded it or what, but that’s definitely not what was going on.  Dallas and I made a late-night Sonic run, which ended up being the only remotely happy thing that day.  (More proof he’s perfect for me–he knows just what to do to cheer me up when I’m sad.)

Day 90 just about made up for it, though.  I don’t own a lot of jewelry (it’s a good day if I remember to wear earrings; the only piece of jewelry I wear daily is my engagement ring), and none of it went with my game day outfit.  I wanted something that would be a nod to Auburn without barning super hard, so I ended up with this.  I think it’ll look good with a lot of other shirts I own, too, so that’s definitely a plus.

I most certainly did not disturb this cat on Day 91, even though it meant having to wait to change the sheets and folding laundry in the living room instead of on our bed.  Poor OC needs all the sleep he can get, especially as he gets older and our younger cats are just dumb enough to think the old man is an easy target for pouncing and bullying.  He may be old, but he also weighs about twenty pounds, and you don’t mess with a twenty-pound cat.  You just don’t.

I spent some of the afternoon on Day 92 in the craft store all by myself.  Technically this is going to be published on Friday, so…today I’m making cookies to take to an Auburn tailgate on Saturday.  I’m a little out of practice in the decorating department, so we’ll see how this goes.

Next week’s post will have eight days instead of seven, and this will be over.  I think it’s been a valuable exercise in looking for the silver lining in every day, but at the same time, there have been at least a dozen days where I had to work really, really hard to find even one good thing about my day.

Okay, the serious part of the post I referred to in the title…

I have a doctor’s appointment in two weeks.  My butt has been dragging for the last several months, and I kind of just want to get checked over to make sure there’s not a physical cause.  I’ve been struggling with occasional bouts of depression and anxiety on and off for pretty much my entire adult life, but both have gotten more severe in the past four to five months.  In June, I had the first full-blown panic attack I’ve had in close to three years.  I’ve had four bad ones since then.  It does not make my life any easier.  Anxiety makes me feel like I don’t have any power over my life: on my better days, it’s a shadow lurking just around the corner, but on my worst days it runs my life.  I’m going to talk to the doctor about it–at least that way it’s documented and it’s out there in my medical file.  I know there’s no use in getting nervous about this–it is what it is.  I doubt there’s some physical problem here.  It may well be all in my head, which is actually scarier than the thought of me having some sort of physical illness.


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