Gosh, today was rough.

A few weeks ago, I realized that the stone in my engagement ring seemed a tiny bit loose.  Convinced myself that it was just paranoia; I take it off when I shower, wash dishes, 80% of the time when I wash my hands, etc.  We’ve been engaged for a year and four months, and I’ve probably hit that ring against every hard surface I’ve come into contact with in that time.  (Not to mention cut my pinky finger and the side of my face with one of the prongs, because I just wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t have spontaneous clumsy moments, right?)  It still looked fine, but I’ve kept a cautious eye on it.

Then today I was trying to back up the thrice-cursed computers at the office, which will thankfully be on their way out on Tuesday morning when the new ones arrive.  The blasted things didn’t recognize the external hard drive I was trying to use, and I spent a good twenty minutes moving the hard drive through different USB ports, thinking maybe I was using a port that doesn’t work very well anymore (nine-year-old computers, so this has been a problem, especially the last few months).  I finally gave up, and plopped down, frustrated, at my desk.  I don’t think I hit my ring against the desk, but I heard a sharp ting! and saw the white sapphire from my solitaire ring skipping merrily along my keyboard.  And the rest of the ring was still on my finger.

Long story short, idiot me tried to put the stone back, and use pliers to bend the prongs just enough to hold the stone in place so I could get it to a real jeweler and get it fixed properly, but no, since I’m an idiot, I managed to mangle the entire ring.  I actually broke two of the four prongs and the rest of the setting doesn’t look good either.  I had to get on the floor to find the sapphire after it went pinging away from the rest of the ring when I was trying to re-set it.

I was definitely not looking forward to having that conversation with Dallas–but the upside is he’s really not upset.  Me even having an engagement ring was kind of a compromise–when we were having a hypothetical talk about engagement, a very long time ago, I told him that I felt like an engagement ring is an unnecessary expense for people who are just getting started in life, but he’s pretty traditionally-minded.  Upon doing some research, we realized that buying a new setting for the stone from my ring would actually cost more than the ring had in the first place, not to mention we’d have to actually get the stone set.

So I’m not sure where we’re going from here, if I’m getting a different ring or if my finger will sit naked until we get married and my wedding band goes on it.  Dallas is obviously highly in favor of just replacing my ring with an identical one and paying the extra money for the warranty/protection plan thing he declined when he bought the one I’ve been wearing for the last year-plus.

I will say this: after not really wanting an engagement ring, then getting one and loving it, it feels really weird to not have mine all of a sudden.  I’ve looked at my hand and panicked at least ten times in writing this post because I thought “did I leave my ring on the edge of the sink again?”  But the most painful thing about this is that it’s tangible proof of the commitment Dallas and I are making to each other, something that’s been with me constantly even when he can’t be, and all of a sudden, while he’s over 4,700 miles away, I cannot wear it.  It’s impossible for me to explain it, but as sad as I’d be if this had happened while he was here with me, it’s a thousand times worse when we’re six time zones apart and aren’t going to see each other for another month.

Hopefully I’m somewhat cheered up by the time I go back to work Monday…our regular clients have all heard a ton about how awesome Dallas is, and I don’t want anybody to assume that just because the ring is missing we’ve broken up or something.  And at this point, if somebody asked about it or told me they were thinking of me or whatever, I would probably burst into tears.


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