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If you don’t know, I love Twitter.  I started using the site in 2008, mostly because I didn’t want to post a pile of short Facebook statuses about what was on my mind.  Since then, it’s kind of become a safe space for me–I keep my Twitter account private because there are things I don’t want to put on Facebook and/or this blog.  (If you request to follow me, I’ll probably follow back.)

I’m Facebook friends with most of my family members, and not only is the blog public, I’m well aware of my usual readership, thanks to the magic of visitor logging and IP tracking.  I can pull up a statistics page that shows your IP address, what device you’re on, the name of the city where your IP address originates from, your ISP, how you got to my page, what links you clicked in my blog, which entries you opened, and how long you were on the site.  So if you’ve visited my blog regularly over the last couple of months, hi!  I know exactly who you are! All seriousness aside, I like Twitter because it delivers little snippets of information about anything I want in an easily digestible form, 140 characters or fewer.  Not just news, either–pictures!  Jokes!  Parody tweets!  Totally relatable things!  In fact, I like Twitter more for fun things than serious ones, though I do get about 90% of my news from Twitter. So here are five accounts I really enjoy following.  Go look!

  1. Stats Canada.  A parody of the actual Statistics Canada, this feed tweets “facts” about Canada.  Maybe it’s funnier to me having grown up fairly close to the Canadian border, but Dallas understands and likes the jokes too.  Sample tweet: “The most popular video game in Canada is Grand Theft Canoe IV: Moose Jaw.”
  2. Birds Rights Activist.  Poor bird, just trying to gain equal rights for other birds.  Most of these tweets don’t make much sense, in the same vein as Horse ebooks, but they are funny.  Sample (remarkably lucid) tweet: “it’s only if I’m not eating the bread that you can have some which IS NEVER”.
  3. Professor Snape.  I like to think of this as “Snape after dark”…things the character didn’t say or do in the books, but that you could see him doing.  Sample tweet: “The best episode of Catfish is the one where Ginny Weasley finds out she’s actually been talking to Lord Voldemort for a year.”
  4. History in Pictures.  Some neat stuff, though a recent tweet with a picture of John Lennon and Elvis together was obviously photoshopped.  (I could tell by the pixels.)  Sample tweet: “Harold Edgerton’s famous high speed picture of a bullet going through an apple, 1964 pic.twitter.com/dpFHCGOHuI
  5. Emergency Cute Stuff.  You really can’t help but smile when this feed posts a picture (which they do every weekday afternoon).  Basically it’s cute animals, timed to show up on your Twitter homepage in the mid-afternoon hours.  Who couldn’t use a little pick-me-up right about then?  Sample tweet: “They call me the breeze, I keep blowin’ down the road… pic.twitter.com/YacthSQaDi
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